Close Your Eyes One Last Time

[Raven]

Mind was ablaze with fury. Green optics scanned the camp from the nursery view. The small black kit took a deep breath. Two and a half moons away from becoming an apprentice. Then four more paw steps to leadership. Oh they were so close! Ravenkit sighed, deep inside she knew they'd never let her become leader. These cats seemed to think you needed to belivee in Starclan to lead a clan. Ravenkit wasn't so mousebrained as to kill her whole clan for one position. Anyway, no cats knew she didn't believe in Starclan. They figured she was just depressed at her brothers death. Dawn was aproaching at a steady rate. Hatred at the 'Starclan' searing through her flesh. The intensity almost to hard to bear. They'd taken everything. Friends became apprentices and never talked to her, She'd never met her parents before they were taken. And her brothers, they died before the runt of their litter. She could not deny the hatred of all things good in this life. It was her and she was it. The small kit's shoulders slumped at she watched the other cats. How she loathed their peppy attitudes!

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[Shiningstream]

"Well now, what's gotten into you? You look a tad owl-eyed, if I do say." From the other edge of the clearing came the deep, old voice of Darkwing, the WindClan deputy. Tabby pelt rippling, the tom gave a striding pad over towards the nursery to greet the younger kit, aware of the painful expression in her eyes. Ravenkit was different at the least. But, Darkwing, in a way, understood. From somewhere in ShadowClan he had a kit, a kit that nobody knew about. Losing was just as hurtful as death.

[Raven]

Ravenkit glared up at the deputy. "Owl-eyed is it? What, may I ask, is owl-eyed in your terms?" Highly sophisticated mew directed towards the deputy. Yes, in two moons she'd learned her words correctly. Ravenkit had refused to spend time with any other cats after her brothers died. Their deaths had shaken her more then anything. Though she'd listened, oh yes, Ravenkit had listened hard to conversations. Practicing with words, as she had no better attributes. Words, they set her free. Opened her mind, yet, no matter how hard she tried. Darkness engulfed her mind like a tomb. Capturing her in it's dark grasp. Holding tight till breath came no more. Oh the soffocation. So grand yet, so...revolting. Death was indeed revolting, but no more then a fact of life.

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[Shiningstream]

Darkwing sat down emotionless. He did not answer her question, for he had another one in mind for the arrogent little thing of a kit. "I can tell of your ambitions, young one," he mewed sternly, chastisingly, even. Ravenkit was always the inept of WindClan, always watching your moves, always listening to every twist and turn and up and down your words created. He knew her goal was to find you, to find every weakness. Or strength, need be. Darkwing had been a lesser version of this smart-mouth, eager to train and be known. Still, Ravenkit wouldn't have a chance of being the warrior she wanted if she continued to be who she was and dwell on the pain of the past. "I'm going to start something with you. A little pre-training, if you say." Darkwing felt his fur tingling with anticipation of getting through this mind. "First of all, learn respect."

[Raven]

Ravenkit's eyes turned sharp and stoney. "I think you have no imagination of my ambitions, Darkwing" Her tones sharp and daring. Strange for one so young. Most kits her age would have backed down if the deputy acted sharp. Disrespect entered her eyes the moment he said 'respect'. "Pre-training? I am not even five moons. What's to say I will forget this the moment I become a warrior? The deputy who took pity on an orphaned kit? This may sound rude, but I rather do not need advice. I have taken care of myself nearly since I was born. Why would I need any help?" She said firmly. Sure of her place, he could hate her. But she knew he would never kill a Windclan kit. Loyal warriors did not kill future warriors. It was downright cowardly to kill a kit. Pride shined in her ugly eyes. Tail curling neatly on her black forepaws. Challenge harsh in her features. She was one runt who would not accept help. Ravenkit didn't need advice into leadership. She just needed to put her paws into the right foothills. Otherwise there would be an avalanch. Then, she'd never become Ravenstar leader of Windclan the proud.

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[Shiningstream]

Darkwing cuffed a paw on her ear gently, angry. "Look, you, if you don't wise up, you'll never be the somebody you want to be. And, I expect you listen to your mentor in the future, as I shall oversee the training of all new apprentices." Shaking his head out of elderly exhaustion, Darkwing shrugged his shoulders, no longer caring if this kit would take his words of wisdom to heart or if she would fall off a cliff. "What pity? You know as well as the Clan that I care little for pity, and you called yourself an orphan. How could you say that, when this Clan around you is your family? Have you no love, no loyalty, no fierce determination to protect them with your life? No matter how proud you get, you always need someone."

[Raven]

Ravenkit jerked away startled as he cuffed her ear. A strange gleam entered her stubborn features. "Who's to say I want anything more then to be a warrior? I never said I wanted friends or kits! I don't even want leadership! Can you read my thoughts?" She hissed at him. Backing up warily. Crouched as if to attack. Her back fur bristling violently. "Of course I know nobody uses pity, but it sure in Starclan's name sounded like pity to me. How can I say I have a family? I never meant clanwise. I meant orpahned as in, no parents. Of course I wanted to help them, protect, love and be loyal to them! Starclan just makes it extra hard when I have no true warrior skills!" She raged in fury at Darkwing. No sense of fear towrads the wise tom. Ravenkit didn't need anyone, of that she was sure. The warrior code had failed her. Have faith? Have faith in what? Dead cats who are supposedly powerful? If they were so powerful, why didn't they save their warriors?

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[Shiningstream]

"What, you want StarClan to be easy and generous and treat you like a kittypet?" he hissed angrily. This kit understood nothing! "You have to get used to pain and suffering just like any cat! You're not an exception, and StarClan isn't picking on you. And compose yourself, you rude little thing. Don't look worse than you already do." Great StarClan! Ravenkit was putting her mind in danger. But no matter how dangerous she may become, Darkwing would be ready for her. He was much bigger. "Look at me, for StarClan's sake! I've dealt with pain. My parents died the day before I became an apprentice, and I never saw how proud they were of me. My sister was taken by Twolegs at 3 moons. My daughter does not exist here."

[Raven]

Fury and annoyance entered her dark green eyes. "When, oh powerful deputy, did I ever say I wanted to be treated like a kittypet?" She cried enraged at Darkwing. Her stubby black tail lashed with loathing. Wether it was for Darkwing or herself, none would ever know. She turned and bolted from the camp. Paws thumping heavily against the ground. He had actually known his parents. She'd never seen her father, barely saw her mother. Her brothers had died only last moon. Ravenkit stumbled and fell as she left the entrance. Getting up again she bolted away from Windclan camp. Limping slightly. Her green eyes flashing dangerously.

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[Shiningstream]

"Ravenkit!" he cried. "Get back here!" Stupid little thing! If this troublesome thing wanted to be a great warrior, she had to follow the warrior code. And, that meant: All kits stay in camp! Taking off at high speeds, the massive tabby wove his way through the gorse and moor grass until he could pick up the she-kit's scent.

[Raven]

Ravenkit sighed stopping and waiting for him. She spun around her eyes blazing with pure fury. "What do you care what I do? It's not like anybody likes me here anyway! So why follow their stupid code?!" She couldn't control her words. In that one moment her lack of faith in Starclan was revealed. She flinched at her own tongue. Ears laid flat as she looked where Darkwing should have been.

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[Shiningstream]

Darkwing stopped short as the black head of Ravenkit appeared, her eyes full of anger and uncertainty that the deputy could only sit down and watch. No wonder. But he kept his calm, searching for the right words to mend through the she-kit's mind so she would get some sense. "Look, I care because, with or without your belief, I think you could become a great warrior in the future. You're already fast and strong." Now, another issue, his eyes were solemn. "I know that the death of your family has made you a bit irritable, but try to push them away and focus on what's going on right now, not the past."

[Raven]

She curled her lip. "Push away my brothers? They died little then one moon ago! They were all I ever had! They were all I ever had..." She turned her head away. To escape his prying gaze. Tears had begun to form in her eyes. She shook her head furiously. "Do you know what it's like when everyday you expect to see your brothers? And instead wake to remember how they coughed and wheezed. How they finally went still. How you'd helped them die? How you dragged them away from camp and in leafbare? How you let them catch something worse then a cold?" He words came out choked as she spoke more to herself.

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[Shiningstream]

To his own surprise, Darkwing nodded. "I had to watch my mother being beaten all together by greencough for a whole moon, and I had to bury my father when he had also contracted the sickness. But... do you know how it feels when you know that you're siblings are alive, but you'll never see them again? That is what I have to live with now that my sister was taken by Twolegs." The massive deputy edged his face closer, pain and anger smoldering his pale green eyes. "Never tell me that I don't understand!"

[Raven]

"At least their still alive! I never even knew my father! I led my brothers outside camp in leafbare!" She spat claws digging into the ground. Her green eyes glittering darkly. The runty kit shoved her way past Darkwing. Dodging into the nursery. She hid herself under some leaves in the shadows. Just wanting to be alone. Just hating everything she's known. Her breathing was rapid and shallow. With tears she could not or would not shed. Either way, she was doing the opposite of what Breezenight and Hawkpaw had said she should do. She was suppressing the true emotion. Ravenkit had forgotten she was just a kit, she'd made herself out to be a rogue in her own home. One day, they'd force her to follow their Starclan or chase her out...But Ravenkit seemed to be perfectly fine, as long as they taught her how to hunt and kill. She closed her eyes with the burden of deep loss. Darkwing may have lost his family, but he had it much better then Ravenkit did. At least, that's the way Ravenkit saw it.

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